PTSD article: Love shouldn’t hurt

In the next two posts, I am reposting articles written by a former American marine sergeant who describes his experiences with post traumatic stress disorder on the website for the PTSD Foundation of America. Please meet Pat Burke. BONNIE







Love Shouldn’t Hurt

by Pat Burke

Why is it the ones who suffer the greatest injustice from unchecked PTSD are also the ones we profess to love the most: our families? Domestic violence is an enormous public health problem in our society today. More often than not, it is a combination of trauma and lack of moral upbringing and can’t be blamed totally on PTSD alone. 

While domestic violence among families of combat veterans is a significant problem, it is also the consequence of this country’s [U.S.] eroding value system and degrading disrespect the male population has for women.  The result of this moral cancer is that domestic violence is “the most frequent cause of serious injury to women, more than car accidents, muggings, and stranger rapes combined,” according to a fact sheet produced by the National Center for PTSD (NCPTSD), part of the VA. 

So, what makes the difference between the 30% of traumatized vets who become terroristic predators to their wives, girlfriends and children and the other 70% who do not physically abuse their loved ones? I said this earlier but know this:  PTSD does NOT change the moral character of the sufferer. It doesn’t make good people bad; it just makes bad people worse and provides them an excuse for their actions. However, the 70%’s hands are not completely clean as they do engage in violent or degrading verbal abuse of their families, which can result in as much damage as physical abuse.   

Casey Taft, M.D., an associate professor of psychiatry at Boston University wrote in a recent article: “People who are exposed to trauma, and in particular those who develop PTSD, are at very high risk for aggressive behavior,” says Taft, who also works at the Boston Veterans Affairs Medical Center and the National Center for PTSD. “In one Vietnam war study, they found that among vets with PTSD, one third had engaged in physical violence against their partner in the past year. This rate was almost three times the rates they found among vets without PTSD. Since we know that current vets in Iraq and Afghanistan have been exposed to significant trauma and many of them have been on multiple deployments and they’re coming back with high rates of PTSD and other mental health issues, it would stand to reason that they would also engage in high levels of aggression and partner violence”…..  It has been estimated to be two or more times that of Vietnam combat vets.  The difference is also explainable by fact.

When bleeding heart Liberals, “God Damned Their Souls,” kidnapped public education; introduced political correctness; abolished corporal punishment; removed God’s moral values; forbade the American Pledge and Spiritual Prayer; dummied down academic instruction; removed honor-advanced classes; standardized instruction to teaching tests; removed dress codes; removed teacher-class control; mandated unsupervised comingling of male and female students; required bilingual teaching to unlimited numbers of illegal aliens at the expense of legal students; disallowed abstinence as a sex education topic; provided condoms on campus; and provided child care facilities for children with babies, it followed that girls became “bitches,” “mommas,” “hoose,” “split tails,” or “pussy.” President Clinton finished off the integrity of women when he popularized “boobs” and “blow jobs” in school restrooms as non-sex acts.  Adult supervision was not allowed to intervene and the most amazing thing of all is that female students not only accepted this degrading of their gender but were proud to wear the tag, bare the illegitimate children of their perpetrators, and willingly bared their breasts and sucked on their “cigars.”  The initial graduating classes of socialists leaning to “new world order” portages began in 1990 and became the “new” obedient, politically correct, blind following, immoral, entitled, relativist “Military” of the last 22 years.  

Even our leadership falls within this group of no accountability, no responsibility, and “pass-the-buck” mental midgets. 

Another immediate consequence of this liberal progressive debasement and debauchery is that more than 70,000 female veterans have been brutally raped while serving sense 1990. Unbelievably, 70,000 men have also been raped by their comrades in arms. To help explain this phenomena–while this is shocking to me–less than 3% of these criminal sex predators have ever been charged by the military. The standard operational procedure has been for senior enlisted and officer corps to deny, ignore, blame the victim, or cover up such actions, thus condoning it.  When women soldiers report such a criminal act, she is threatened, ostracized and blamed for the “consensual” act.  Men are too embarrassed report it.  Women finally have descended to total equality with men but now have no protection from any of them.  

Another problem is that a significant number of violent acts by military personnel against women are carried out by black soldiers whose family culture is so dysfunctional that 85% of all U.S. births are fatherless with multiple siblings of different donors.  Women are generally relegated to the level of prostitution, with little or no value.  The Hispanic or Mexican culture is highly male dominant where women aren’t allowed to question men’s authority, the majority of whom are “Catholic” and absolved weekly of transgressions; violence condoned by God. According to VA statistics, almost 75% of violent MST is perpetuated by these two groups alone.  Additionally, 50% of spousal abusers also brutalize their children.

The Muslim culture places women at the bottom of the food chain and are criminally brutal to their wives and daughters.  It is as if they are waging war against the female gender. 

So, while domestic violence is serious, those who perpetuate it generally have a pre-disposed nature to do so and PTSD treatment will not improve the situation. Left unabated, the risks of staying with an abuser to “fix it” include death, serious physical injury, and psychological injury as well — including PTSD and secondary PTSD. 

Just some of the psychological effects, which are less obvious initially than the physical effects, are depression and being at greater risk for subsequent suicide.

According to the NCPTSD, “60% of battered women report depression,” and “25% of suicide attempts by Caucasian women including Hispanic and 50% of suicide attempts by African American women “have been preceded by abuse.”

The bottom line is that when you fall in love with a combat vet or someone who has been traumatized and you desire a long-term relationship with them, know that the price will be pain. Your life will become a roller coaster ride from wonderful awesome tender moments to heartbreaking lows. You will deeply fall in love with your vet while not liking his/her vacillating emotions at all. The memorable moments will far outweigh the horrible ones, but these will negate a whole bunch of good times. 

However, if even once the relationship becomes physically violent, leave and take your children with you. Do not presume it won’t happen again because it will and will become progressively more violent with each occurrence. In this single act, he will have “outed” himself and KNOW that this is NOT the first time he has done this. He is one of those who has zero respect for women and has either beaten or raped someone before. Leave immediately!


About Bonnie Toews and John Christiansen

Bonnie's Blog Posts invite our readers and free spirits everywhere to share life's adventures with us. I talk about writing my novels, reading books, chatting with other writers and John's and my journeys around the world. We welcome your anecdotes to our experiences and discussions.
This entry was posted in Afghanistan vets, Canadian Armed Forces, depression, emotional trauma, estrangement from family, federal government, Homecoming Vets, post traumatic stress disorder, suicide, veterans' affairs, veterans' assistance programs and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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